MEN SHOULD PREPARE THEMSELVES TO HANDLE WOMEN WHO ARE OVER 40
When some Women turn 40 or 50 years, something major shifts in their personality.
They become bolder, more rebellious, more religious, more focused, more opinionated and more emphatic about what they want.
Don’t be surprised when a previously obedient and submissive Woman on turning 40/50 changes completely. Most especially when she had given birth to Children.
At this age, she may not go with the flow anymore, she may begin to ask some questions : – Is sex food? – Query some of your instructions – Even the way you behave.
She will also become more outspoken and will not be afraid to speak her mind.
If care is not taken, you may have to do for yourself : – Dry cleaning – Preparing food to eat Because it might take her more time before she responds to your request.
There is something definitely special about turning 40/50 for Women.
If she has never challenged or questioned your instructions, get ready to be shocked by her boldness and confrontational attitude.
The only way to avoid total breakdown of Peace and Harmony in the home is for Men to become fair, objective and reasonable in their approaches to issues at home and/or at work.
Men should bear in mind that at this age, Women also harbour lots of regrets about the decisions they have made in life so far … Their Husbands may be one of them!
A woman at this age is a better Judge of character and will evaluate a Man using very different & weird parameters.
Men must start on time to prepare for this phase in the lives of their Wives/Partners/Bosses/Subordinates.
What you put in is what you get!
If you have treated her fairly, then you don’t have anything to worry about. She will begin to appreciate you better if for any reason she didn’t do so in the past.
On the contrary if you haven’t been nice to her, fasten your seatbelt, the ride is about to get pretty bumpy.
A Woman doesn’t forget those who hurt her, and by her actions and utterances you will know that she is out to show you that she is no longer that little girl you married.. It might help to learn these early especially with the added Corona stress. Elder Dr. M. Job Mainye Ph.D , Kisii, Kenya
Fr. Jumbam Gerald comes back to explain what he means by “Independence or Nothing”: Interestingly he highlights that Ambazonians are chased out so La Rep could completely take over their land : listen to to him .
Former Mayor for Kumbo council who ruled for close to 25 years has been appointed by the CPDM and La Rep’ PM “Deputy National Coordinator of the presidential plan for the reconstruction and development of the North West and South West Region” and shall be entitled to the various benefits provided for by regulations in force:
That is a great Nso man whose political party has been humiliated and now enjoying but appointments from the very regime that he fought for years to overthrow : While we do not doubt the competencies of Mr Njong Donatus, we only can conclude that SDF has finally proven itself to be a sub party to CPDM clearly as we can now see the evidences seems in CPDM now appointing strong Southern Cameroonians whose positions were snatched because of the failure to listen to the Ambazonians calls for boycott etc : In the days ahead, others like Mbah Ndam etc who took the risks to go to the field for the rerun and still failed shall be benefiting like Mayor Njong: while we respect his choice to join La Rep; we wish him well for he was considered one of the icons of Nso who stood for the people but as the saying goes, time tells .
Although we have not contacted Mr Njong to know if he is aware and has confirmed the appointment , we also have not seen any disclaimer from him and as such might has made his choice as an enabler .
The appointment did not state if SDF has joint the government directly or if the Mayor and those appointed has crossed carpet : Again only time will tell.
The enthronement machinations that led to the rise of Sehm Mbinglo I to the Nso throne are no secret to the Nso people again. As one whose father, Taa wo Faanjang, was one of the key actors in the enthronement Council, and having taken to myself to follow up keenly the intricacies that were involved, I recorded the following as the machinations that bedeviled the process:
-The sudden and unexpected “disappearance” of Fon Ngah Bi’fon III left the King makers and the Nso people quite confused as to the choice of the successor. This came from the fact that the Nso succession practice does not permit the throne to be vacant for more than a day. It should be noted that Fon Ngah Bi’fon III hours before his disappearance in the night was seen around town in his car doing his usual transactions. It was therefore in shock that the Nso people Rose to the sound of the “Ngem” announcing that the Nso Sun had set. This announcement set the King makers the more in confusion.
That was when the enthronement machinations started as potential candidates and their supporters entered into conclaves to design strategies to cause their choices to be accepted.
Among the potential princes were Shey Kee from Mantum, Lawyer Gabriel Mbinglo, Shey Ayori and Prince Patrick Mbinkar Fondzeyuf. Of these Princes, the ones with political and financial backing were Shey Kee and Lawyer Mbinglo. Shey Kee had the backing from business and political gurus like Shey Isaac Lukong whose position was implicitly that of the Administration and Government. He was equally backed by Shufaay Ndzeendzev. Shey Kee was described as the CPDM choice. Understanding the political mindset of the Nso people in the early 90s with the prevailing political atmosphere in Cameroon as a whole and the Northwest Region in particular, coupled with the “hatred” against the militants of the party, it was logical that Shey Kee’s camp had to work extra-hard to succeed. The arrival of Sultan Ibrahim Mbombo Njoya, added to the suspicion that a CPDM candidate was going to be imposed on the Nso people, reason why the resistance became stiff.
Lawyer Mbinglo had a similar had his own support as well in Shufaay Ndzeendzev but not from the Administration or ruling party, because he was a noted militant of the SDF. Even as SDF, he could not have the support of Nwerong because he openly supported the Ngiri against Nwerong during the 1989 Mbor Crisis. According to one of the King Makers this researcher spoke with, Lawyer Mbinglo lost the trust of Nwerong on the day the Nchelav pursued Yeengiri to Squares and removed the Mbor (the emollient leaf) from the heads of the Ngang se Ngiri who were wearing them to Meluf to initiate a new member. Nwerong claim the Mbor leaf is their sole prerogative. On this day, after the Nchelav had completed the act and left for the Palace, Lawyer Mbinglo who was sitting in front of “Atlantic Photos Studio” at Squares got into the next Bar, (Sala’s Bar) and bought crates of beer for Yeengiri. That to Nwerong was considered as complicity with Ngiri against Nwerong. His candidature could not therefore pass without Nwerong’s support.
On his part, Shey Ayori who was lobbying for support in Faanjang, even in the absence of Taa woo Faanjang, who was in the Palace, was not a popular candidate. According to the same source, Shey was not popular because he was not a generous man. Many condemned that weakness in him and wrote him off the list of potential candidates.
Lastly, there was Prince Fondzeyuf Patrick, who was so popular among the commonest Nso man for his social interaction and remarkable generosity out of very little he had. Apart from that he was noted for his sympathy towards any afflicted and suffering. Prince Fondzeyuf equally enjoyed a 100% support from Nwerong, and aTaanto for:
-his unwavering support for Nwerong during the Mbor Crisis during which he was stoned in the Ngiri santum causing to lose a tooth for supporting Nwerong.
For mastering and promoting the culture of the Nso people and for his respectful nature towards the traditional instructions and those who incarnate them.
From another perspective, Prince Fondzeyuf was at the time a strong grassroots militant of the SDF and understanding the popular sway at the time, even among a majority of the King Makers, the probability of him going through was very high.
Above all, the voice of the gods through the Nso Mntar had him as their choice as reported from the messages brought back. It should however be noted that in 1983, when Ngah Bi’fon III was enthroned, Prince Fondzeyuf was seized and enstooled as Faay Taawong but he rejected the post with the pronouncement that he was destined for a higher position (Fonship)than that
Many who knew his background very well agreed that the position of Taawong for him was a calculated attempt to disrupt his future greatness. When therefore he was chosen, many did not doubt, though few were those who were expecting him during the machinations process.
It was during all these machinations that Nwerong stepped in and seized him, enthroned him in the Nwerong santum and then announced to the world that the Nso Sun had reason before the other King Makers and the other lobbying camps discovered they had been beaten.
It was in the aftermath of the Nwerong act that resistance from Ndzeendzev, aTaawong and Ayiywong, and others that a stalemate arose as the New Fon stayed with Nwerong while the Nwerong ritualistic music resounded throughout that night.
Following this unexpected turn of events, the wisdom of the Sultan Ibrahim Mbombo Njoya, played a great role in the mediation. It was thanks to this wisdom that peace was reached and the process of enthronement was taken over as tradition demands.
It should be noted that at the disappearance of the Fon, the Sultan arrived before Midday and took over the running of the Nso Palace before the new Fon was enthroned.
The rise of Sehm Mbinglo I to the Nso throne could be compared but to the rise of Sehm III, (Mbinkar Mbinglo) to the Nso throne. Both Fons were first enthroned by Nwerong before Ndzeendzev and other King Makers came in later. Such procedures challenged and disrupted the established enthronement procedure.
The ascension story of Mbinkar Mbinglo as you can read in Prof Daniel Noni Lantum in the monograph “Sehm III: Father of Nso Development (1947-1972) rather relates that there was a break from tradition in that he was seized for enthronement by Nwerong without the knowledge of Ndzeendzev. This, according to Lantum’s narrative, was after Prince Mbinglo sent mystical warning signals from his waiting “hide-out” in Mbah. The appearance of the rainbow in the sky was taken as a communication warning and signal to anyone who dared sit on the throne. Consequently, Nwerong fished him out and did an unprecedented recognition and enthronement procedure that departed from the established tradition. It was in leading the already Nwerong-recognized “Fon'” to Ndzeendzev, that Ndzeendzev who was embarrassed questioned who was in the Nwerong mask, and further declared that if that was Mbinkar Mbinglo, then he was not going to endorse him. That, according to the narrative, was the cause of the discord between Fon Sehm III and Ndzeendzev.
It should be noted, that if Nso historians endorse the above narrative, then the second similar break in the enthronement procedure was recorded with accession to the throne of Sehm Mbinglo I. The difference with his father’s enthronement is that he never sent any warning signal, but was the choice of Nwerong and aTaanto because of his “respect for traditional institutions and for his inflinching support to Nwerong during the 1989 Mbor Crisis” (my quotes).
Unlike his father, when Nwerong seized and enthroned him, he stayed in the Nso Palace because of Ndzeendzev’s resistance against the choice. However, with the tactful and diplomatic negotiations led by Sultan Ibrahim Mbombo Njoya of the Bamoun, Ndzeendzev and his Co gave in to Nwerong. This entailed the re-enthronement of the Fon. And it came to pass. Sehm Mbinglo I is today 27 years on the Nso throne come September 2020.
These two similar scenarios prove that it is difficult for a Prince to auto-claim Fonship and go successfully through without one of the parties in the enthronement chain being an accomplice. And in such an eventuality if Nwerong is not in complicity the difficulty could be enormous.
In another light, the process of grooming a Nso Prince for succession to the Nso throne is more the collective responsibility of society. While Nwerong, as the custodian of the land, keeps a close study of all potential princes, the rest of the members of the enthronement council also keep a close study. These could only caution the princes but would never make them know they are under study. The individual prince under the hidden guide of his Wiinto, shapes his destiny on to the throne through his public comportment. Close friends, who are conscious of the potentiality of the said prince to succeed the Nso throne, caution and help the prince to build confidence in the population and in the King makers.
It should be noted that there is the metaphysical phase in the process of choosing a successor to the Nso throne. This is done through the Nso Mtar, who are sent out to the world to divine amongst the potential princes who is most suited. The Nso Fondom always waits for the return of these gods’ Messengers to return with the gods’ choice before the enthronement is done. However, they are never given more than a day to do. This phase is threatened by political influences and the overbearing interventions of Nwerong.
Concerning the Fon grooming a potential successor, it becomes a problematic equation in that there are two families considered to be in the rulership roll of the Nso Dynasty; the Ngah and the Sehm, who in reality are one. Sehm II (1886-1907) and Ngah Bi’fon I (1910-1947) were sons of Yaa Yeefon Lirfee. The tendency for a ruling Fon to be biased against the other house in his choice of a successor cannot be ignored. Also, the Fon’s criteria, as an individual, to judge any potential prince may be flawed by bias and incompatibility with the established criteria of the King makers and the society. These are some of the reasons why the probability of any respect for the ‘wispered choice” of a ruling Fon is low.
The dream of a Nso Fon abdicating the throne to hand over to a choice he had groomed is far removed from the Nso cosmic view and practices of inheritance. However, with the postmodernist disorder, one cannot totally dismiss an eventual precedence.